Don't open your eyes (conclusion)

Please read the previous post before reading this.

The stench of burning flesh suffocates your lungs. You might have been able to stomach it - if it wasn’t your own. Your lungs burst to release an inhuman, hellish scream. Desperately you attempt to crawl out of the pit you find yourself in, only to be stabbed in the face with a giant spear. If only you could die in this place!

If only the agony and despair could escape through your broken skin like the blood that is now soiling your scorched flesh! But there is no relief. In life you experienced utter depression, but nothing like this! In this foul, burning nightmare your senses are mercilessly heightened to perfection. Your emotions seem unbearably pure.

“I don’t belong here!” your mind whispers through the agony.
Excruciating pain shoots through your entire body, leaving you completely paralysed. Desperately you gasp for a breath that never comes. Every second you die a new death. Amazingly you manage to verbalise a protest as a dark figure walks past your living corpse. More amazingly, it responds. You are pulled from your pit and the flames that were melting your skin finally die out.

“Everyone gets one trial!” you hear in a disgustingly vulgar voice followed by shrivelled laughter. You find yourself in what appears to be a courtroom deep in the belly of hell. You’re overjoyed! It was the simple things in life that you took for granted. Like waking up every day and not being on fire. Now you can’t wipe the silly grin of your face, simply because you’re not in agonising pain. Don’t worry. That smile will leave you soon.

The judge walks in: Satan himself. Then something really terrifying happens, and with this being hell, that’s saying something. When your eyes fall on him, you aren’t convicted of his evil, but of your own. Your lips start to quiver and your eyes well with pain and tears. Somehow Satan grants you the ability to see yourself through God’s eyes. Before God’s immeasurable perfection, in His blinding purity, His infinite holiness, you feel like the most ungodly, disgusting creature ever conceived of. In this moment, you feel like you deserve to be in hell. You want to be in hell.
Satan’s attorney throws a massive book onto the desk in front of you. A quick glance reveals it to be a book of every sin you’ve ever committed. Even the thoughts you’ve had that weren’t godly are in there. But at this point it’s rather moot. With Satan in the room, no one needs to point out your sin to you. You feel worthless all on your own.

The attorney speaks: “For the wages of sin is death. If there is even a single page in that book, you belong here.” He smiles a devilish evil smile. “Oh, you belong here!”

“I know”.

These turn out to be the two most difficult words you’ve ever had to utter. There’s nothing more you can say. Just before Satan can render the verdict, a door opens. Blinding light pierces the foul air. Jesus walks in. Words will always fail to describe the utter beauty you are beholding. It’s seems like everything about Him resonates beauty and peace. He looks over at you, piercing your soul with His gentle eyes. You feel more loved than ever before. Without thinking you fall to the ground and praise his Name with tears in your eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Satan demands. In the most loving voice Jesus replies: “The Father sent me.” “But why? You have no business here!” Jesus looks at you and smiles. “I obey my Father’s commands and remain in His love.” That remark certainly doesn’t appear to sit well with Satan. He clenches his teeth and growls like the beast he is. “Very well then, let’s get this over with!” Satan points to you and asks Jesus: “Did you die for this lowly creature?” Jesus looks at you and His face changes. A painful tear rolls down His beautiful cheek “Jesus, do you know this person?”

“I do not”.

You want to speak, but you can’t. You simply don’t have the strength to move your lips. What just happened? You want to tell Jesus you know Him! You want to remind Jesus who you are... How can He make a mistake like this? Jesus turns around and walks away.

You want to scream His name! You want to run after Him, but your body won’t move. If you could burst into tears, you would. Just as Jesus walks out the door you manage to whisper: “I know you Jesus.” It’s too late now. You don’t even know if He heard you.

Demons grab you and carry you back to your pit. In the background you hear Satan chuckle with delight. They hurl you into the flaming pit but as you hit the ground you’re surprised to find that it’s soft and not at all on fire. In fact, it’s blissfully cool. You open your eyes and find yourself lying on your bed.

You burst out in tears of relief! It was a dream! The most realistic dream you’ve ever had, but just a stupid dream nonetheless! You’re absolutely bubbling over with joy. You’ve never been so happy to simply just to be alive! While you’re jumping on the bed like a 5 year old, the phone rings. You battle to catch your breath from all the jumping but you don’t care. You answer stumbling over your words with excitement. You want to tell people how amazing it feels to be alive!

Funny how life works out...

The other end of the line greets you with tears. A good friend of yours passed away a few hours ago.

You drop the phone. Your heart stops beating for a while. Everything stands still.

It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t you.

It was him!