Someone

You’re sitting in your bathtub with a razor blade in your hand. The water is cold. It doesn’t matter. You stare at your wrist. This is the moment where you're suppose to cry, but you don't. You’re too damn indifferent. Just cry, or scream, even laugh… just do something! Grace the world with some indication that you were alive before you died. But you don’t want to. There is nothing to be alive for.

You think about your life, as people in these situations often do. You tried, you really did. Nothing you did removed the cold black loneliness that is suffocating your soul. Every day is a struggle to the end. The mornings are the worst. You have to fight the depression just to get up. And when you do get up, you sit at the foot of your bed and cry for a while. While you cry, your soul becomes deadly ill. The strong voice that you heard as a child fainted into a distant whisper over the years. Your heart has been replaced by a sinister abomination. As you cry it pumps poison through your veins. Your breathing becomes shallow and your body starts to quiver. You become deathly anxious, suffocating in the harsh reality: You are alone. Completely alone. Not just in this moment, but in life.

You drag the blade through your skin. As the water turns red you smile. It’s been a while since you smiled. You close your eyes and wonder why no one saved you. The nameless faces that walked past you every day… why didn’t they say something. Why didn’t they save you? As your mind slips away you wonder:

“Why didn’t I say something… Why didn’t I save someone?”

_________

You might feel your problem is unique, and in many respects it might be. But there are people out there who suffer the same pain you do. Just like you, they need someone.

You can be that someone.