odd shaped hole

You bring me to life.

I light up a room when I enter. I inspire, strengthen and encourage. I move the earth to everyone’s delight. But somehow, it means nothing to me now.

You justify my existence.

When I wake up, there’s an odd shaped hole in my heart. When I go to sleep I drown my pillow in tears as I realise… the hole is a little bigger now.

I become irrelevant without you.

As the sun sets my soul slips away. The world fades behind my tears. One simple thought lingers in my head now.

Where are you?

16 seconds

You wouldn’t believe the destructive power of 16 seconds. One second you wear a smile while a hint of excitement glitters in your eyes. 16 Seconds later, you lie on the floor. The life you thought you knew shatters into an abyss of broken nights and distraught days. Hold on. I know you don’t want to, but hold on anyway.

When… if you survive those 16 seconds, and if you survive the days, weeks and months that follow, you will be unbreakable. If you survive.

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Sometimes life rips us to shreds. You get a phone call, and in that moment you know you can’t survive this. Hold on! You will come out stronger at the other end. But I beg you, please hold on!

thinking makes it so

I am worthless…

My life is meaningless…

No one loves me…

No one even cares about me…

This world would be better without me…

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Shakespeare wrote: “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. The question is, are we using our thoughts to manipulate something into appearing good, when it is actually bad? More importantly (I think), do our thoughts convince us that something very beautiful is ugly?

climb

He stands at the foot of the mountain and stares at the challenge that lies before him. He’s very confident and even a little cocky that he will conquer the mountain. Two days later and he’s made great progress, but it’s not as easy as he thought. A week later he reaches the halfway mark. Unfortunately he’s depleted more than half his strength and resolve.

A fellow climber spots something strange in his backpack… “Why do you have a fire extinguisher in your backpack?” He smiles “I used to be a fireman.” His answer is met with a raised eyebrow and a WTF expression. “Okay… and what is the calculator for?” “When I was writing my finals, I forgot my calculator at home. I did very badly and that maths mark has haunted me since.” Now the stranger has two raised eyebrows… “Okay… and how about that big gift wrapped box?” Sadness fills his eyes “My last girlfriend dumped me because I forgot her birthday.”

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I know what you’re thinking… No one will carry so much from their past with them when they are trying to climb a mountain... no one is that stupid! Or are we? The beginning of a year is a good time to look forward and plan ahead, perhaps even decide what mountain(s) to climb. For me it’s also a good time to look back and let go.

Sometimes we carry terrible baggage around with us. So now I look back at the mistakes I made and say: “Yip, I did that… it was stupid. But it’s not who I am anymore. I won’t allow it to define me, and I won’t allow the memory of who I was spoil the possibilities of who I want to be.”

It's much easier to go forward if you stop looking back.