your worth

Today you will risk your life to find out who you really are. Hidden dangerously deep in a magical forest lies the answer to the question that’s haunting you: how much are you worth?

For the last 4 months you’ve been preparing for this journey. It’s not enough time, but you can’t wait anymore. You desperately need to know if what lies inside your soul is sacred, or sickening.

With great trouble you force your way through the thick forest. Every now and then a shimmering fairy shoots past you… warning you of the trouble ahead. You press on.

You push some branches out of the way. A black panther greets you with a roar. Your heart thumps against your chest. His eyes are filled with fear… He pleads with you to turn around. Still you press on.

You found it! Inside the cave is the answer you seek. But outside, evil lingers. Waiting for you to come just a little closer and give up your right to be alive. Nevertheless… you press on.

Pain shoots through your body in a clean and eloquent wave. Your body falls effortlessly to the ground. Mercifully, the 4 months preparation affords you the opportunity to get up again. In agony… you press on.

You hear a crackling sound like a tree bending too far. Your legs burst forth in pain, as they shatter from the inside. Slowly you crawl into the cave, you can barely move but you press on.

Out of the darkness an outstretched hand appears. You reach out; the moment you touch you’re invigorated with energy and love. You have no idea who this hand belongs to, but you can't help falling deeper in love every passing second. You feel safe, secure, special, happy, blessed, and most of all... you feel loved.


As you eyes adjust to the dark, a face emerges… it can’t be… it’s you! Suddenly it all makes sense. Your value is not found in you, but in the people who love you. This magical place shows you what you are worth, by showing you how you look through the eyes of your loved ones. You stare at yourself. You feel what they feel… Finally you know how sacred your soul really is!

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Think about it for a while... who would you see if you walked in there?

diamonds

You’re going to lose your house; you can’t afford it anymore. How are you going to tell your kids? A friend calls with urgency in his voice, asking you to meet up with him. He looks a bit worried when you get there. He tells you about an immediate job that’ll sort out all your financial problems. After just two short weeks, everything can be sorted. The problem is, half of the people who accept this job, will be dead in two weeks. You don’t like gambling with your life, but how do you tell your kids they don’t have a home anymore. Then again, how does someone tell them they don’t have you anymore?

The job requires robots to go deep into an unsafe mine. The problem is a robot costs 2 million Dollars, and they lose a lot of them due to the unstable conditions. It’s highly illegal to send people down there, but it’s much cheaper. That’s where you come in. The company has a two week gap where no one will inspect their operations. In those two weeks they send as many desperate people down there as they can find. This time around you’ll be one of them… You take the job.

The two weeks that follow breaks you in ways you didn’t know you could break. Besides the close calls you suffer, you witness as the lives of three people are ripped from this world. The last three days are the worst. You are responsible for bringing up the bodies of the fallen. You have to clean up the evidence that humans were ever down there. Your soul has never been torn to shreds like this. Dying seems like a beautiful release right now. Your heart doesn’t want to beat anymore. It’s pleading with you to take your last breath. You can’t imagine suffering more than this! But it’s worth it. That’s what you tell yourself. You have to believe that this is worth it.

You walk out of the mine for the last time. You want to smile, but you’re completely empty. You collapse in the locker room with the seven others that survived. Your supervisor hands each one of you a bag with your spoils. It’s not worth it! You didn’t really allow hell into your heart for a little bag of money, did you? It’s over now, but it was never worth it! One of the guys you worked with sits down next to you. He hands you his bag. “You need this more than I do”. Your eyes shoot open, WTF! “How can you suffer hell and then give me your money?”He shrugs, “I run a very successful company, I don’t need the money.”

You stare at him, you can’t find the words. The shock of his words seems to nudge your heart back to life. “WTF is wrong with you? Why are you here?” He stands up with pride and power (where the hell did he find that???) “I have all the physical stuff I want, but one morning I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. Pressure creates diamonds. Each time I walk away from something like this, I’m stronger, more beautiful, becoming more like a stunning diamond. Each time I suffer this, I love myself more.”

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You can’t go through this life without suffering now and then. The questions is, do your troubles break you, or strengthen you? You might not realize this, but that decision is yours to make.

every day

You smile a lot. But you rarely mean it. You pretend that you’re living. But you’re barely surviving. Each morning you search the depths of your soul desperately seeking a tiny drop of strength to make it through the day. You can’t go on like this. Every day, there’s a little less in your soul. Every day it’s harder to find a reason to get up. You’re on your last few breaths…

A week ago a friend emailed you and asked for your help. His parents are going away, and he needs to take care of his mentally handicapped brother. You don’t know why, but you said you’ll help him today. You can’t think anymore, you can’t make a decision anymore. You just say yes when you think someone expects you to say yes. You’re a meaningless piece of scrap paper being tossed around in a blizzard. You’re not in control of your life anymore.

You get to your friend's place; he’s happy to see you and introduces you to his brother. The rest of the day is a bit different that you expected. His brother is a delightful kid. When he laughs you can hear that nothing in this world bothers him. He doesn’t lie in bed at night and tortures himself. He has someone who takes care of him… he has someone that loves him exceedingly. What more can he possibly ask for?

You stare at your friend as he plays with his brother: “You seem to take such great care of your bother. Did you really need my help today” He looks up, “No, I didn’t need your help.” “Then why did you ask me to come help you?” He smiles at you with loving eyes:

“Because you needed my help.”

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We are our own best teachers. If you need help, give all the help you have.

For some reason we don’t always value ourselves enough. The greatest strength we have is seldom for ourselves. So if you’re feeling weak today, go be strong for someone else.

crying angel

A young boy runs with reckless abandonment through the rain. His smile shines with light the dark clouds can’t hide. He is free, and he knows it.

A beautiful woman wanders through the pouring rain. From the outside you’ll be forgiven to think there is peace in her heart. The rain hides her tears. The thunder mimics her pain. She is breaking with every step she takes. Every breath weakens her tormented soul evermore. Her body lingers in the wind like an old tree that died years ago.

A few precious moments later, the little boy runs back to his mother. His knees are covered in blood… but he can’t stop smiling. Before his mother can say anything, he bursts out “Mommy, mommy I saw an angel!”

“She was so beautiful. I ran too fast and fell down. But she helped me up and her smile took away all my pain. I wasn’t even afraid when I saw the blood. She gave me a hug and it felt like the sun was shining on me. Then she said that God will always send an angel to pick me up when I fall.” With wide eyes the boy stares at his mother “Mommy, what do I need to do to be an angel like her?”

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You may feel you are terribly weak, and perhaps you are. But believe me when I say you can still mean the world to someone. You can still change the course of someone’s life forever! You don’t have to get up from the ground to make a difference… to mean something. Believe me… your life means something amazing!

don’t look at me

You think you understand, but you have no idea. You think you know me, but you never can. The pain I bleed won’t stain your hands. If you see a dim flickering light shining out of me, just look away, you’re not supposed to see. But take heart... it will fade eventually.

Please don’t look at me.

With black tar of despair and bricks of pain, I build a wall to cover my shame. The light that was, will be no more… all in the hope of surviving the world once more. My strength, my pride and yes my pain will never again see the light of day. What I was and what I should be will be locked away for all eternity.

Just don’t look at me.

I gather all my misery and wrap it round the wall. Broken glass and razor wire covers the wall now destroying my soul. If you try to help you’ll surely fall. Don’t come closer, I’m not well, I’ll rip you apart… I’ll give you hell! Can’t you see it’s too late for me? Now go away and let me be...

And don't you dare look at me!

all of me

It’s 4:30am, my alarm beeps, but I don't mind. I’m not sleeping anyway. I wash my face and stare in the mirror. It’s back!

The darkness decided to visit me again this morning. It probably came for me while I was sleeping. That explains the nightmares and why my body was covered in sweat. I thought I was strong enough, I thought I could resist it. The truth is, that’s just a lie I tell myself. I like it when the darkness comes. I love it!

Through the mirror I stare into eyes of pain, and I smile. Not out of pleasure, but acknowledgment: “I see you!” I swear I can see it smile back. The darkness has grown rather fond of me. It’s because I give it my all. It devours me with delight. It sucks life out of me like some sadistic vampire feeding on the flesh of a worthy sacrifice. I tilt my head and expose my neck to the darkness. It’s yours. Enjoy.

If I had family or friends, it would devour them through me... or would I devour them... using it? But I don’t, I don’t need friends or family. I have the darkness, and today, it has me. All of me.

Companion

Tonight will be the best night of your life. Unfortunately.

It started when you were 7. You saw scratches on your knees that weren’t there. The next day you fell off your bike and obtained those very scratches. Not too long after that you were watching TV, nothing exciting was on. You started weeping with painful tears. Three days later your dog was run over by a car. When your dad told you the news, you wept those same painful tears.

As time passed you came to understand this ability as a companion. Someone who peeks into your future and allows you to see or feel what awaits you. You’ve grown rather fond of your special companion. Your beautiful blessing! Seven years ago, you learned about tonight. Since then you’ve been eagerly awaiting the best night of your life!

The next morning you wake with a smile… it was better than you thought it could ever be. You can’t wipe the silly grin off your face. Just give it time, it’ll sink in soon. Then your companion shows you what awaits you now... Never again. You’ll never again in your life experience anything like last night. Nothing will even come close. For the past 7 years you didn’t enjoy your life. You’d lived for a day in your future. Now... your life will be miserable, you’ll always think back to the best night of your life. Your companion turned out to be your curse. Your entire life could have been amazing… instead everything that you’ve lived for, was crammed into one day.

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Are you living for the future... are you stuck in the past? Did you create a companion for yourself that's stealing your life?