persona

“Why did you do that?” he stares fiercely at her. She drops her head in shame. “I don’t know.” Slowly he shakes his head in disapproval. “That’s not good enough. I need to know why you did it.”

As she stares at him her shame turns to contempt. “Because I wanted to. Because I felt like it. Who are you to tell me how to act?”He gets up and walks away. Just before he leaves he looks back: “I can’t tell you how to act, I just didn’t think you would do anything like that”

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We create personas in our minds of the people we know. When there’s disconnect between that persona and the actual person, we can hurt the ones we love. When someone acts different to what you expect of them, before you judge them, judge your persona of them. If the persona you created doesn’t reflect their true nature, change your vision of them to fit in with who they are instead of trying to change them to fit into your vision of who you think they are.

don’t fix it

She closes the door behind her and drops her bag on the floor. Her shoulders tell how defeated she is and her face reveals that she’s been crying. She falls down on her bed. Emptiness fills her chest and fear creeps in. She picks up the phone; she can’t be alone right now. Twenty minutes later her best friend knocks on her door. He walks in and holds her tight. Her pain fades into something she can manage. They sit down and she tells him the story behind her tears.

Quietly he thinks for a while. “I think I can help. I need to go do something.” He smiles then gets up to leave. “Please don’t go, I just don’t want to be alone right now.” Her words aren’t enough to keep him there. He leaves. She sinks her head in her hands as the pain flares up again.

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Despite the boyish profile picture, I am a man… I even have facial hair now :) One of the problems men have is we are problem solvers. I see something that’s broken and I want to fix it. By doing so, I’m not listening to the person, but to the problem. Instead of empathizing, I’m formulating a plan.

When someone fixes their own problem, they gain strength and confidence. We shouldn’t take that away. Most people can solve their own problems; we just need to hold them when they feel they can’t.

halloween party

She stares across the room at a man who holds all her attention. His eyes meet hers and time slows down to accommodate her rush of emotions. Her beautiful smile draws him in as he makes his way to her. “Hello cat woman” he says with a smile, revealing his fake vampire fangs. She feels very flirtatious tonight “Tell me, do you only suck human blood, or will mine do?” He stands closer and stares into her eyes “I think your blood will be far sweeter than any human.” She frowns, he looks way too serious. Suddenly he thrusts her against the wall and bites her neck viciously. She knocks him away “Damn it Rick, what’s gotten into you?” He looks at the floor with shy eyes “I’m sorry, I guess I got a little carried away”

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Sometimes we behave how we think we should instead of how we want to. Unintentionally we create masks, to fit in or to protect ourselves. If we’re not careful our masks can become us and we lose who we are meant to be.

2sides

At 2am his phone rings. His heart jumps because he fears the person on the other end will fill his heart with sorrow. “She didn’t make it…” That’s all he needs to hear for him to shatter the phone against the wall. The next few weeks fade into a haze of nightmares and tears.

Today someone was rude to you. Later you are going to hint for an apology. He’ll just say “whatever” and walk on. You should make a mental note of their behavior. This is not someone you want as a friend.

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These stories might not be related, but do we ever give people the benefit of the doubt? Do we try to understand the lives of others before we condemn? Too often I jump the gun and point out how someone inconvenienced me at a time when they desperately need encouragement.

hold on

His brothers always hated him. So much so that they sold him as a slave. He was broken, but he made sure not to stay that way. Instead of fading away, he worked hard as a slave and his master couldn’t help but notice. He gained more and more respect until the wife of his owner tried to lure him into her bed. Upon his refusal, she accused him of sexual abuse. Without a trail, he was thrown in jail.

He was broken, but he made sure not to stay that way. He worked hard, insistent never to miss a stride. In the harsh conditions of prison, he built a reputation as a man who wouldn’t lie down when the world gave him a beating. Soon the emperor became aware of this unique man, and demanded to see him. As the story goes, he eventually became the second most powerful man of his time!

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We all face difficulties, some more than others. Although we can’t help what happens to us, we can decide how we are going to respond. The question you need to ask yourself when trouble hits: Are you going to be a victim or a conqueror?

thinking makes it so

Harry takes the seed out of the tiny box and squishes it into the soil. He can’t wait to see what will sprout forth. The lady at the magic store said the plant feeds on emotions. “You don’t need to water it, but you have to feed it with your emotions. Depending on the emotions it receives, it can be majestically beautiful or hideously vile.” During the next four weeks, Harry would come into the room each day and think happy thoughts. He would read jokes, laugh and smile as much as he could. When the loneliness crept in, he would quickly leave the room.

Harry walks into the magic store and places a pot containing a rather unpleasant looking plant on the counter. “What did I do wrong? I fed it each day with all the happy emotions I could muster. Please tell me this is not what the happy side of me looks like.” The lady smiles politely, “Did you plant it in the special soil I gave you?” “Yip, I did exactly as you explained.” “And do you remember what I said about the soil.” Harry looks up into the corners of his eyes, as if trying to remember. “You said something about the soil receiving its nutrients from my thoughts.” “That’s correct, so tell me Harry, what did you think while you were in the presence of the plant?” This is when Harry starts doubting himself a little and no longer the quality of her products. “Well... it’s difficult to keep my mind off the things that bother me. But I made sure to always be in a good mood while with the plant.” She places her hand on his shoulder “Even our most beautiful emotions with negative thoughts can turn ugly.”

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I don’t think we realize how much our emotions feed off our thoughts. If our thoughts are not healthy, we can’t expect our emotions to be.

one of them

She walks into the cafeteria. Her heart feels numb and cold deep inside her. There are a few open tables, but she can’t face being alone. Not today. Quietly she sits down across two girls. They look at her with questions in their eyes, then get up and leave. Softly she whispers “Please don’t go”. She clenches her teeth and pleads with her tears not to escape her eyes. “Lord, you know how much I need you today, please help me…”

Moments later a guy sits down across her. He eats his food rather casually, then looks up. He smiles. She tries to hide her eyes before they can expose her pain. It’s too late. He already knows. He stretches out a hand and holds her arm. She stares into his kind eyes and he smiles peacefully.

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We all have days when we can’t do it alone. Fortunately this world has extraordinary people who care deeply. I am hoping you are one of them :)